I have learned over the years that my life is my responsibility and I cannot blame anyone for the circumstances I find myself in right now, whether good or bad…and that responsibility started when I became an adult. Sure, bad things happen when we’re growing up; I heard someone say that no one has had a pain-free childhood but as adults, everyone chooses how happy or miserable their life will be.
I have this thing now, this alarm that goes off in my head, that if something doesn’t feel right, if I am hurting emotionally, that means some thing needs to change. And more often than not, the “thing” that needs to change, is me! I ask myself, or more accurately, I ask God, “How can I look at this differently? What is my role in this issue or difficulty I’m having?” Even if the problem isn’t of my doing, I ask “What can I do to deal with this in a responsible way?”
(side note: I am speaking here more about our day-to-day trials, not major tragedies that some of us face, although these same principles could apply)
I am not a victim in life, being tossed around by the wind. That took me a long time to figure out. Now I know that I have a very big role to play in my life and how I want to live it. Taking responsibility for my life is the hardest and most freeing thing I ever have to do. Swallowing my pride and looking hard and honestly at myself and learning to “accept the things I cannot change and having the courage to change the things I can” is probably a very mature way to conduct my life as well.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 5-8